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Identifying As a "Sub"

Sub or a submissive in bdsm relationships

What is the definition of the word "Sub" and what does it mean for the BDSM community? What is the meaning behind NOT YOUR SUB®? Are we against people who identify as a Sub?
We answer all the above in this blog post!

What does the word "Sub" mean?

“Sub” can be a noun, verb or abbreviation. This word can also be used as a prefix to define someone or something that is secondary, inferior or “less than”.

What does "Sub" mean within the BDSM community?

Submissive can be shortened to "Sub". It refers to someone who submits to a dominant person in a BDSM relationship or scene. Although "sub" is commonly used by the community, this term isn’t exclusive to BDSM practices.

What does NOT YOUR SUB mean?

NOT YOUR SUB® symbolizes freedom of choice and pure confidence. It is dedicated to people rising above self-doubt, oppression and insecurities in order to unlock their power.

Our brand name can be meaningful in various situations regarding gender stigma, the pressure of conformity, society norms and more!
It encourages you to get rid of 
anything you do not welcome into your life.

Are we against people who identify as a Sub?

Not at all!💗 People can feel empowered by either being Dom/Sub, but we are talking about something that makes you feel inferior without actually enjoying any part of it. You can be a sub if it is done safely, if it is your choice and if it empowers you! 

"Contrary to popular opinion, the dominant person doesn’t really run the show, the submissive person is always the one in control" - Certified sex coach Stephanie Hunter Jones, Ph.D., tells SELF

Submission can be both pleasurable and empowering in the context of BDSM, but this subject is not necessarily what we refer to. We are taking a broader perspective on submission. One that makes you feel submissive without consent or choice.

We have no intention in throwing shade at the BDSM community

We do not say: "I am not a Sub" or "We're not Subs".

What we do say is: We are NOT *YOUR* SUB.

Because offering power to someone else does not mean that you will submit to everyone.
No one should expect that you’ll submit to them because of your kink.